{"id":1160130,"date":"2025-09-28T12:01:00","date_gmt":"2025-09-28T16:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/?p=1160130"},"modified":"2025-09-28T12:29:54","modified_gmt":"2025-09-28T16:29:54","slug":"12-phrases-you-should-never-say-to-a-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/sabrina-bendory\/2025\/09\/12-phrases-you-should-never-say-to-a-man\/","title":{"rendered":"12 Phrases You Should Never Say To A Man"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Sabrina Alexis Bendory<\/a> on some phrases that will often blow up right in your face. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s go over some landmine phrases you should never say.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My style isn\u2019t usually to tell you what to say and not say, I prefer to address issues at the root and get to the mindset that causes the behaviors that may be preventing you from getting what you want<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Sabrina Bendory is the author of Detached: How to Let Go, Heal, and Become Irresistible<\/a><\/em>.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I thought this article would be fun to make and that we can use these phrases to get a better understanding of what makes a man lose interest. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I also want to add that if these phrases are a little too familiar to you, it may indicate you have low self-esteem<\/a> and that\u2019s something you\u2019ll want to address because low self-worth is the root of most problems.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 OK, here we go…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. All men are jerks.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Yes, I know that maybe you\u2019ve been hurt in the past, but this attitude is toxic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s just flip it for a second. Let\u2019s say you were on a date with a guy who said all women are crazy or psycho, would you want to date him?? No! You would think he was a chauvinistic jerk. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He clearly has strong negative feelings about women due to things he experienced in the past and it\u2019s not your job to fix him and correct this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman already has the idea that all men are jerks, she will always be looking out for jerky behavior. She will be hyper-vigilant, expecting him to dump her or do something horrible at any moment. You can\u2019t really form a connection or a relationship with someone like this. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I also need to add\u2026 if all the men you date are jerks\u2026 then maybe you need to change your taste in men? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Do I look fat? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Has any man in the history of mankind ever answered yes to this question? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What you\u2019re really asking is: do you still find me desirable? Because I think I put on some weight and I want to make sure you\u2019re still attracted to me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But there is nothing desirable about being insecure. He most likely will just get annoyed by the question and you are lowering your value by even asking it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. My ex<\/a> would never do that.\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

There is never a good reason to compare him to your ex, at least not when it\u2019s a comparison about how much better the ex was. Let\u2019s flip it again, how would you feel if he compared you to his ex and pointed out the ways you were falling short? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can express your unmet needs to him in a way that doesn\u2019t make him feel resentful toward you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. What are you thinking about right now? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t really want to know what he\u2019s thinking, you want to know if he\u2019s thinking about you <\/em>and if he\u2019s thinking about the relationship. You don\u2019t want to hear that he\u2019s thinking about Fantasy Football or whatever nonsense is swirling around up there. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Focus on feeling secure in the relationship so you don\u2019t need so much assurance from him. If you have a hard time feeling secure, ask yourself why. Do you not trust him\u2026 or do you not trust anyone because deep down you believe all people will hurt you because that\u2019s been your experience thus far? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Nope, nothing is wrong \u2026 when something is wrong.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t expect him to be a mind reader. Yeah, I know you\u2019d prefer that he be able to intuit your every thought and feeling and manage it accordingly but that\u2019s not his job and that\u2019s not possible. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emotional maturity comes from recognizing your needs and expressing them in a way that doesn\u2019t blame or shame your partner. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. What are we? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Guys don\u2019t like having the talk, and the fact is, in the right relationship with someone who is on the same page as you, there really isn\u2019t a need to have a formal discussion about the relationship and where things are headed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bringing up \u201cthe talk\u201d in a forced way will just make him feel pressured and then the whole power balance of the relationship is thrown off if he isn\u2019t ready to commit in the way you want. Now you\u2019re in a position of waiting to see if he chooses you and this is a very disempowering place to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s much better to let things unfold organically without force or pressure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if he doesn\u2019t want the same kind of relationship you want, don\u2019t be afraid to walk away and realize you will find better. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Guys always ghost or dump me.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t really need to share this information – he won\u2019t feel sorry for you, instead, he might start thinking maybe something is wrong with you. I get the intention, you\u2019re telling him this has happened in the past and it\u2019s been hurtful and you\u2019re hoping by sharing this information will make him think twice before he ghosts\u2026 but it won\u2019t. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, this makes you seem low value- so you\u2019re basically telling him you\u2019re from the reject pile and that\u2019s not exactly alluring!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. Why don\u2019t you ever\u2026 <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Guys rarely respond well when you phrase something like this, it makes you come across as naggy and ungrateful and will just cause him to retreat and feel resentful and be even less likely to do what you want. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is much more effective to phrase things like: \u201cI really love it when you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Guys need to feel appreciated, if you come away from this article with one takeaway, let it be that! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Where have you been? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Guys don\u2019t want to feel like you\u2019re keeping tabs on them- especially not in the beginning!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re grilling him on where he was and why he didn\u2019t text back promptly early on, it\u2019s a bad sign and signals the beginning of the end. If it\u2019s early on and you\u2019re not even official, he\u2019s most likely is seeing other people and he doesn\u2019t yet owe you exclusivity or explanations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you expect them and demand them, then you\u2019re pulling the reigns in way too tight way too soon and he most likely won\u2019t want to deal with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should also add when a guy really likes you, he won\u2019t usually leave you hanging. If he takes an exceptionally long time to get back to you, he\u2019ll usually tell you why. If he disappears often and with no explanation, he probably likes you\u2026 but doesn\u2019t like you enough. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. We need to talk.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Is there a more chilling combination of words than this? I think not. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you need to talk, be more specific about what you\u2019ll like to talk about so his mind isn\u2019t jumping to the worst-case scenario, which we often do with this phrase. My mom texted me a variation of this the other day and I thought maybe there was a death in the family. Just stay away from this one! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. So when am I going to hear from you again?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

This just comes across as desperate and needy- almost like you\u2019re expecting not to hear from him again. It is much better to just assume he likes you and assume you\u2019ll hear from him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have a friend who would always give a guy specific instructions, like \u201cCall me tomorrow night\u201d after meeting a new guy. This conveys confidence because you\u2019re assuming he is going to want to call and talk to you and you\u2019re just letting him know when you\u2019re free <\/p>\n\n\n\n

12. Bringing up things he did in the past that you\u2019ve already forgiven him for.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t do this, don\u2019t keep a tally of everything he\u2019s done wrong, and use it as ammo when you\u2019re mad at him. If you forgive him for something, forgive him for it<\/em> and move past it. That means you can’t bring up that thing anymore. This just comes across as immature, and petty, and it will not take you anywhere positive in your relationship. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sabrina Alexis Bendory on some phrases that will often blow up right in your face. Let\u2019s go over some landmine phrases you should never say.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":186664084,"featured_media":1160132,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"thoughtcatalog_call_to_action":"","tc_post_redirect":"","thoughtcatalog_is_sponsored_content":"0","footnotes":""},"categories":[603229912],"tags":[],"anchortext":[],"posttemplate":[],"adcampaign":[],"coauthors":[603229922],"class_list":["post-1160130","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/thingstonverssay.jpg","author_meta":null,"photo_credit":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1160130","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/186664084"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1160130"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1160130\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1160138,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1160130\/revisions\/1160138"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1160132"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1160130"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1160130"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1160130"},{"taxonomy":"anchortext","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/anchortext?post=1160130"},{"taxonomy":"posttemplate","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posttemplate?post=1160130"},{"taxonomy":"adcampaign","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/adcampaign?post=1160130"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=1160130"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}