{"id":1161259,"date":"2025-10-09T04:48:01","date_gmt":"2025-10-09T08:48:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/?p=1161259"},"modified":"2025-10-09T04:48:01","modified_gmt":"2025-10-09T08:48:01","slug":"why-people-pleasers-often-have-low-self-esteem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/sabrina-bendory\/2025\/10\/why-people-pleasers-often-have-low-self-esteem\/","title":{"rendered":"Why People Pleasers Often Have Low Self-Esteem"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This is why people-pleasers often have low self-esteem. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not because they lack confidence altogether, but because they lack the self-respect it takes to be truly self-assertive. They\u2019re not okay just being themselves. They feel safest when tending to the needs of others, and deeply uncomfortable with the quiet, reflective space required to tune into their own needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
“When you build your worth around being needed, you forget how to feel worthy just being yourself.” \u2014 Sabrina Alexis Bendory<\/a> <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, people-pleasing becomes a full-blown identity:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I’m the strong one.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I’m the caretaker.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I’m the easygoing one.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But underneath that identity is often a fear that if you stop showing up that way, people won\u2019t like you\u2014or worse, they\u2019ll leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every time you hide your needs, silence your opinion, go along with something you don’t actually agree with, or pretend to be fine when you’re not\u2014you chip away at your self-respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“Every time you silence your needs to keep someone else comfortable, you teach yourself that your voice doesn\u2019t matter.” \u2014 Sabrina Alexis Bendory<\/a>, Detached<\/a><\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Bit by bit, your true self-the part of you that thinks, feels, desires, and dreams\u2014 starts to retreat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the more disconnected you become from yourself, the more you rely on others to define your worth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Read more from the writer here<\/a>. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is why people-pleasers often have low self-esteem. Not because they lack confidence altogether, but because they lack the self-respect it takes to be truly self-assertive. They\u2019re not okay just being themselves.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":186664084,"featured_media":1161261,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"thoughtcatalog_call_to_action":"","tc_post_redirect":"","thoughtcatalog_is_sponsored_content":"0","footnotes":""},"categories":[603229949],"tags":[],"anchortext":[],"posttemplate":[],"adcampaign":[],"coauthors":[603229922],"class_list":["post-1161259","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mental-health"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/39483591510_124a3bd0d9_6k.jpg","author_meta":null,"photo_credit":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1161259","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/186664084"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1161259"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1161259\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1161264,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1161259\/revisions\/1161264"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1161261"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1161259"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1161259"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1161259"},{"taxonomy":"anchortext","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/anchortext?post=1161259"},{"taxonomy":"posttemplate","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posttemplate?post=1161259"},{"taxonomy":"adcampaign","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/adcampaign?post=1161259"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=1161259"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}