{"id":1176044,"date":"2025-12-17T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-12-17T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/?p=1176044"},"modified":"2025-12-17T10:50:43","modified_gmt":"2025-12-17T15:50:43","slug":"fact-youll-never-be-good-enough-for-them-until-youre-good-enough-for-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/heidi-priebe\/2025\/12\/fact-youll-never-be-good-enough-for-them-until-youre-good-enough-for-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Fact: You\u2019ll Never Be Good Enough For Them Until You\u2019re Good Enough For Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Of all the self-fulfilling prophecies out there, love seems to be the most prominent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re all searching for love so desperately. We\u2019re all pining endlessly after what we\u2019ve lost. And we\u2019ve all fallen victim to \u2018the chase\u2019 at one point or another \u2013 going after the one person (even amongst a slew of others who would gladly return our affection) who cannot or will not love us back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We desire the ones who don\u2019t return our feelings. We ignore those who take interest in us without quandary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And there\u2019s a simple explanation for all of this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re attracted to people who make us feel worthy.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

After all \u2013 if we can get this super cool, super unavailable person to fall for us, then we must be lovable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we can break down someone\u2019s walls, force them to see the best in us and get them to choose us above all their other options, that says something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not about them. About us<\/em>. About how loveable we must be. About how deserving we are of devotion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We hinge our senses of self-worth on whether or not the object of our desire desires us back, and as a consequence we set ourselves up for failure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Read “This Is Me Letting You Go<\/a>” to help \u00a0to embrace what comes next.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Because people can sense that kind of desperation a mile away.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Nobody wants to be entirely responsible for someone else\u2019s self-esteem. Nobody wants to be the only reason someone else wakes up in the morning. Nobody wants to deal with the intense emotional turmoil of loving someone whose self-worth falls into pieces the moment the relationship hits a rough patch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because that\u2019s an unfair amount of pressure to place on another human being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the second an emotionally healthy person senses that we\u2019re pursuing them because we\u2019re searching for validation, rather than for a genuine connection, they\u2019re going to take that as their cue to jump ship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As they should.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because real relationships aren\u2019t build on a need for validation and acceptance. Real relationships are built on connection. Mutual respect. And the ability to support one another through the rough patches, rather than falling to pieces because our individual need for validation isn\u2019t being met.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People who already know that they\u2019re worth of love will always be the ones who\u2019ll have the easiest time finding it.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Because those people aren\u2019t asking their partners to complete them. They aren\u2019t hinging their self-worth on their relationship status. They aren\u2019t desperate and aching for any sort of affection \u2013 forcing their partners to jump through hoops to keep them feeling \u2018good enough.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those people know how to give and receive love freely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because the first person they learned to love was themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that has to be the first person we learn to love as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because until we\u2019re good enough for ourselves, we\u2019re never going to be good enough for anybody else.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

People can sense that kind of desperation a mile away.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":114678431,"featured_media":1176109,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"thoughtcatalog_call_to_action":"","tc_post_redirect":"","thoughtcatalog_is_sponsored_content":"0","footnotes":""},"categories":[603229912],"tags":[],"anchortext":[],"posttemplate":[],"adcampaign":[],"coauthors":[219077519],"class_list":["post-1176044","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/curated-lifestyle-drqY0zrgfyI-unsplash.jpg","author_meta":null,"photo_credit":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1176044","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/114678431"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1176044"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1176044\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1176599,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1176044\/revisions\/1176599"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1176109"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1176044"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1176044"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1176044"},{"taxonomy":"anchortext","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/anchortext?post=1176044"},{"taxonomy":"posttemplate","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posttemplate?post=1176044"},{"taxonomy":"adcampaign","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/adcampaign?post=1176044"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=1176044"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}