So you\u2019ve found yourself sweet on a Canadian. First of all, let me applaud your good taste. You\u2019ve found the world\u2019s most dateable population and you\u2019re interested in winning over one of our well-mannered hearts. But before you progress, I just need you to quickly forget everything that you know about dating. It\u2019s a whole new ball game in Canada \u2013 or as we\u2019d rather say, a whole new hockey game. Here are a few things you should know about dating in our home and native land.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Primary dating season for Canadians occurs between the months of October \u2013 May (Eager daters start scouting their options in September). Winter lovers are not just a bonus in Canada, they\u2019re a key component of keeping our heating bills down. The closer you huddle the warmer you stay \u2013 and there\u2019s a general understanding that all bets are off come May or June.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did you and your date show up wearing the same North Face jacket? Probably a good sign. No self-respecting Canadian wastes money on dressing impractically. Flannel is the new black and we\u2019re Pulling. It. Off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Canadians are used to things going wrong. Like that time in third grade when nobody could go to school for a week because it was negative forty degrees out. We expect inconveniences and don\u2019t get our feathers ruffled easily. High maintenance isn\u2019t an option in Canada.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you have an American Netflix login? Have you ever won roll up the rim? Most importantly \u2013 does your family have a cottage anywhere close to Muskoka? If so, oh baby. It\u2019s on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chances are you\u2019ve been turned down by a Canadian at least once. You just don\u2019t know it because we\u2019re so damn charming that they probably made you think you were rejecting them. What can we say \u2013 we\u2019re known for our outstanding manners. If we\u2019re not into you, we let you down as politely as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember when the Arcade Fire was just a group of weird kids in the back of your sister\u2019s math class? Because we do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019ve never gone hiking on a first date, chances are you\u2019ve never been to Canada. We take advantage of every day of good weather we get \u2013 and the bad days are not off-limits either. You don\u2019t really know someone until you\u2019ve been camping with them in the rain. Who you are when the tent collapses is WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you ironically drink PBR? Have you entered a Coors Light challenge? Or do you exclusively consume Mill Street Organic because that\u2019s the kind of person you are? We\u2019re watching over whatever you order. We know our beers and our beers know their drinkers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Unless you grew up in Vancouver or Toronto and respectively stayed there forever, there is a 99% chance you\u2019ve had the heartbreaking experience of your high school boyfriend going to Western while you headed to Queens for University. Canada\u2019s a pretty vast country and if you\u2019re serious about pretty much anyone you\u2019re going to have to get used to doing some driving. It never lasts, but we always make the attempt. I mean, breaking up with someone is just so rude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In some countries beards are a fashion statement. In Canada they\u2019re a measure of practicality. Beards are an extra layer of coverage for your face between the months of November to April \u2013 one you don\u2019t even have to pay for! Men with thick beards are simply pragmatic. Any Canuck could tell you that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You\u2019re not someone\u2019s boyfriend or girlfriend in Canada, you\u2019re their partner. You\u2019re not throwing your beer can in the garbage, you\u2019re recycling it. And no matter how much you hate Bell as an Internet provider, goddammit you\u2019re hashtagging #BellLetsTalk all day long on January 28th. If you can\u2019t follow the most basic rules of inclusion you are never going to score with a Canadian.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Canucks fans are rowdy. Canadians fans are old school. Leafs fans are loyal, albeit kind of dumb. How into hockey you are doesn\u2019t actually matter \u2013 just tell us your favorite team and we will tell you who you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are you a non-Canadian dating a Canadian? Don\u2019t worry aboot it. We keep our igloos warmed at a comfortable -20 degrees and our timbits are hand-delivered by Mounties every morning. Just stick with us. We\u2019ll protect you from the polar bears, we promise. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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