There is no logic to the fear of commitment. And there is no romance in it either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When you’re scared of commitment, you want to run from the bad things. You want to run from the good things. There is some inherent, unpredictable part of you that has been programmed to \u201cGo! Flee! Get out!\u201d every time you encounter something real and you\u2019re not sure what it is or why it\u2019s there. You simply experience its underlying nuances \u2013 it wants and wants and wants until it gets. And then some sort of panic mode is activated \u2013 as soon as it has, it wants to drop. It wants to jump ship. To escape. To start all over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s not an insecurity and it\u2019s not a point of pride. It\u2019s not refusing love because you think you don\u2019t deserve it. It\u2019s not disdaining affection because you think that you\u2019re above it. It seems to be nothing more than a flaw in our most basic faculty of reason \u2013 the part that moves from want<\/em> to get<\/em> to keep<\/em> breaks down once it reaches that final step. It is the act of being stuck in an undying loop: Want, get, want again. Want more. Always want. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Fearing commitment has nothing to do with a lack of trust. You trust in things almost too much \u2013 you trust them to be constant and steady and good and you\u2019re not sure if those are adjectives that you\u2019re comfortable with. You aren\u2019t afraid of the bottom falling out of your world, you are scared of it staying where it is. Of things stagnating. Stopping. Of being thrown into an uncomfortable lurch where nothing new alters or grows. You are comfortable in chaos and suffocated by routine. So even the good things scare you. Even the consistently positive drains. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When you are genuinely fearful of commitment, it goes against all reason and logic. You can sit down and write out a list of ten thousand reasons why you want to be with a certain person or commit to a certain choice and be entirely sold on all of them. You can even truly want<\/em> to see things through \u2013 to invest all of your heart and emotion and to will yourself to make the right choices, but there will still be that voice in the back of your mind \u2013 the one that says Go, Leave, Run<\/em>. You can\u2019t silence it. You can only temporarily ignore it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m not romanticizing non-committal attitudes. There is nothing inherently desirable about the inability to see anything through. It\u2019s infuriating. It\u2019s maddening. It\u2019s a toxic headspace to dwell inside of and yet it\u2019s one that so many of us seem genuinely predisposed to experiencing. Our eyes are eternally bigger than our stomachs and there\u2019s no way to quell the sense of panic that closes in around us every time it gets down to the wire. Something about us has been programmed to jump ship as soon as the waters stop raging. To seek out the chaos inside of calamity. To break away from all that is perfect. To run. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When you are terrified of commitment, there\u2019s no easy answer to a given dilemma. Do you stay where you ought to \u2013 where others depend on you and where you have promised to be \u2013 even if it means that you slowly deteriorate in the meantime? Or do you follow your impulses \u2013 rashly and impressively, without a regard for where they\u2019re taking you or who is suffering as a result? There seems to be no way to win and it\u2019s a maddening game to be playing. You\u2019re perceptive to an absolute fault. You\u2019re losing at your own mental game. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And yet in time, we learn to slowly make sense of things. We make and keep commitments. We slow down and stay put. We see the definite results of putting all of our heart and soul into one project, one person, one place. We understand that we owe so many successes to the things that we have dutifully committed to. And yet somewhere in the back of our minds, that eternal voice is always going to whisper: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Go. Leave. Run.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n And some part of us is always going to be at its mercy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When you are terrified of commitment, there\u2019s no easy answer to a given dilemma. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":114678431,"featured_media":1182311,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"thoughtcatalog_call_to_action":"","tc_post_redirect":"","thoughtcatalog_is_sponsored_content":"0","footnotes":""},"categories":[603229912],"tags":[],"anchortext":[],"posttemplate":[],"adcampaign":[],"coauthors":[219077519],"class_list":["post-1182310","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/amin-naderloei-nvI6pTWowSA-unsplash.jpg","author_meta":null,"photo_credit":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1182310","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/114678431"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1182310"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1182310\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1182312,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1182310\/revisions\/1182312"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1182311"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1182310"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1182310"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1182310"},{"taxonomy":"anchortext","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/anchortext?post=1182310"},{"taxonomy":"posttemplate","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posttemplate?post=1182310"},{"taxonomy":"adcampaign","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/adcampaign?post=1182310"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=1182310"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}