{"id":540985,"date":"2015-11-23T17:57:20","date_gmt":"2015-11-23T22:57:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/?p=540985"},"modified":"2018-10-04T16:58:07","modified_gmt":"2018-10-04T20:58:07","slug":"8-thanksgiving-side-dishes-ranked-from-best-to-worst","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/chelsea-fagan\/2015\/11\/8-thanksgiving-side-dishes-ranked-from-best-to-worst\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Thanksgiving Side Dishes, Ranked From Best To Worst"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cornbread stuffing<\/h3>\n

The Holy Grail of Thanksgiving sides, cornbread stuffing is proof that something good came out of the (admittedly horrifying) Thanksgiving origin story, and that something truly incredible can be made out of slightly stale bread. Cornbread stuffing is, of course, superior to regular stuffing, because cornbread (especially with little kernels of corn in it) has that wonderful sweetness that is perfect when counteracted with things like onion, sausage, aromatic herbs, garlic, and delicious turkey\/chicken stock. You can even go crazy and make it a jalapeno cornbread stuffing, although I admit that I am partial to the traditional Thanksgiving flavor profile (and Simon & Garfunkel lyric) of sage, rosemary, and thyme.<\/p>\n

Regular stuffing<\/h3>\n

Regular stuffing is to cornbread stuffing as Harry Styles is to Zayn Malik. Not bad, by any means, but definitely not the star of the show. Regular stuffing is your standard-issue white guy in the group. There\u2019s nothing wrong with him, but you\u2019re not going to be fighting anyone to take home leftovers.<\/p>\n

Roasted brussels sprouts<\/h3>\n

Perhaps this is just a liberal East Coaster side, as my red state family members never seem to break them out, but that doesn\u2019t mean they aren\u2019t an incredible dish. Roasted brussels sprouts are the attractive, smart date you bring to the family Thanksgiving celebration. Everyone is vaguely impressed that you brought them, and \u2013 as long as they are properly executed and crispy with a little bacon and candied nuts \u2013 they are going to be the surprise favorite of the evening. Brussels sprouts will never get into a fight about ISIS with your grandfather.<\/p>\n

Mashed potatoes with gravy<\/h3>\n

Who doesn\u2019t love mashed potatoes? Literally only criminals and ghosts. Mashed potatoes are delicious, and the exceptional thing about gravy is that, even on your aunt\u2019s inarguably bland and shitty mash, it manages to work its magic. There is almost no mashed potato that cannot be saved by a half-boatful of good gravy, and that shit can go on to improve nearly everything else on your plate, if done right. (This of course means that whoever is charged with making the gravy better have their shit together, but usually people can pull it off reasonably well.)<\/p>\n

Sweet potato with marshmallow<\/h3>\n

Honestly, I\u2019m not even really sure how or why this ever became a dish, but I\u2019m assuming that it came from the same crazy \u201850s cookbooks that advocated shit like shrimp in jell-o and topping your cakes with raw cream cheese. Either way, it\u2019s somehow stood the test of time, and although it is arguably not really deserving of being called a dinner item (it\u2019s honestly more of a dessert), it\u2019s usually pretty delicious. If a relative who can\u2019t cook makes it, at least you can pick off the toasted marshmallows, which is a saving grace most dishes can\u2019t claim.<\/p>\n

Green bean casserole<\/h3>\n

Honestly, all dishes that are based on the concept of dumping Campbell\u2019s cream-of-whatever soup into the mix and topping it with some kind of crushed, fried item need to go the way of Crystal Pepsi. We have clearly evolved past green bean casserole, and unless you\u2019re making some elevated foodie version, you really have no excuse for putting this on your table. It\u2019s literally just a wobbly pyrex full of chemicals and sadness. And it\u2019s not worth the calories.<\/p>\n

Canned cranberry sauce<\/h3>\n

The recipe for actual, real, homemade cranberry sauce is literally three ingredients: sugar, water, cranberries. If you\u2019re getting fancy you can throw some cloves and orange peel in there, but you don\u2019t even have to! It\u2019s literally the easiest thing in the entire world to make, and the difference in goodness between \u201cgross, jiggly canned cranberry sauce\u201d and \u201cthe stuff you took 10 minutes to make on the stove\u201d is canyon-sized. Upgrade your whole life and get rid of canned cranberry sauce, because anything called a \u201csauce\u201d that can be sliced into individual patties to serve is not something people should be eating in 2015.<\/p>\n

The Sad Salad<\/h3>\n

There\u2019s always the one Sad Salad that someone brings because they\u2019re trying to be healthy and thus foisting their sadness on everyone else at the table. It\u2019s Thanksgiving, don\u2019t they know it\u2019s the time to eat carbs and animal protein by the ladle-full, and to serve yourself gravy out of something literally called a boat? It\u2019s not a moment for salad. So, of course, literally no one touches the salad, and everyone just watches it wilt slowly under its dressing as Aunt Carole gets sadder and sadder that no one is choosing to follow her on her Healthy Holiday Journey. Sorry, Carole. Pass the potatoes covered in melted sugar. \"Thought<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Holy Grail of Thanksgiving sides, cornbread stuffing is proof that something good came out of the (admittedly horrifying) Thanksgiving origin story, and that something truly incredible can be made out of slightly stale bread.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":36248491,"featured_media":918022,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"thoughtcatalog_call_to_action":"","tc_post_redirect":"","thoughtcatalog_is_sponsored_content":"0","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[603198915],"anchortext":[603200314],"posttemplate":[603196126],"adcampaign":[],"coauthors":[178686843],"class_list":["post-540985","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-holidays","featured_content-nrml"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/chelsea-shapouri-464107-unsplash.jpg","author_meta":null,"photo_credit":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/540985","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/36248491"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=540985"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/540985\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":918025,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/540985\/revisions\/918025"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/918022"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=540985"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=540985"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=540985"},{"taxonomy":"anchortext","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/anchortext?post=540985"},{"taxonomy":"posttemplate","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posttemplate?post=540985"},{"taxonomy":"adcampaign","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/adcampaign?post=540985"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thoughtcatalog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=540985"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}